


Just Be

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Romance, Sex, Smut, Tooth Rotting Fluff, cute baby otters, stomach ache inducing fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:47:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage





	Just Be

Everyone gets burned out once in awhile. And after ten years of non-stop fighting, preventing the apocalypse, and killing more creatures than you could count, you figured it was high time you were due that nerve-wracking break down.

The boys understood - how could they not? They’d been your companions and partners for half of that ten years, watching your back, all of you saving the other’s life on more than one occasion, and they saw it before you did. The last hunt was the final straw, really, watching some poor girl get torn apart.

You knew you couldn’t save them all. That knowledge did not stop you from trying, and feeling it deeply when you failed.

Dean and Sam didn’t try to stop you; they gave you those sympathetic looks that made you feel like a worse hunter than they were, that made you feel like a failure, even though they knew, and you did too, that it wasn’t true. The elder brother made sure your old truck was still in working order, and filled with gas for wherever you ended up heading. Sam got hold of a burner phone for you, so they could contact you, just to check in.

No hunts.

No monsters.

No demons.

No blood, gore or losing strangers to the hands of evil.

You needed time to just… exist. To just be, without thinking of anything else.

From Kansas, you drove up through Colorado, into Utah. When you were young and unaware of things that went bump in the night, you vaguely remembered doing this drive with your dad, hanging your feet out of the window when the air cut out, just to catch a breeze. The scenery changed rapidly, and you found yourself on long stretches of highway with barely any other vehicles around. Every motel you stayed at was empty of other guests, and you found yourself breathing a little easier as you went on.

Zion National Park was a two day drive from Lebanon, but you stretched it into three, taking your time. There was no rush to be anywhere. From Zion, after hiking all the trails you could find, you headed West, giving the bustling streets of Vegas a miss. People weren’t what you wanted… you needed to remind yourself of the world you were saving.

By the sixth day, you’d passed out the other side of Nevada into California, and it was hotter than balls, as Bobby used to comment in the long hot summers of Sioux Falls. The thought of your late uncle made you smile, and that night, at the crummy motel you’d picked, you raised a toast to him, shortly after checking in with the boys, who briefly mentioned that they’d picked up a ghoul hunt.

Driving down by the Los Padres National Forest, you found the coastal highway just outside of the more populated area, and started to head North, windows down as the sunshine beat down on the West Coast. Led Zeppelin played softly through the speakers and you started to relax, enjoying the scenery and quiet highways. At several points you stopped, taking leisurely breaks, capturing pictures of the sea and the wildlife you spotted on your phone.

Eight days after leaving the boys, you  sat on the hood of your truck, just outside a town called Morro Bay. The sky was lit up in reds, pinks and oranges as the sun set over the horizon, making beautiful images on the ocean surface.

Your phone beeped, and you frowned, looking down at the text you’d received from Sam.  _Cas is looking for you._

A sigh left your lips. You hadn’t even mentioned your little hiatus from hunting to the angel. He would be worried - he was always worried about you. Ever since he’d met you, he’d constantly badgered you with his concern, and it was sweet but…

The sound of wings rustled around you, and he was there, standing  in front of your truck, blocking the view with that stupidly innocent frown on his face. “Are you okay?” he immediately asked,, and you sighed again, sliding yourself from the hood.

“I’m fine, Cas. Sam and Dean probably already told you that.”

The angel looked perplexed, and you knew you’d made a correct guess. “They said you were on vacation. I’m not sure I understand.”

“I needed a break,” you explained simply, shrugging your shoulders as you leaned against the grill of the truck. “Wanted to see something that wasn’t blood and guts.”

“You’re a hunter,” he replied, slowly, his eyes still filled with confusion. “I would have thought you had acclimatized to that situation by now.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Not the point, Cas. I was run down. Needed to remind myself…” You trailed off as the angel looked at you with those too-blue-to-be-true eyes, the problem solving in them so intense, you could probably hear the celestial cogs turning in his brain. “I keep saving the world. And I needed to remind myself of what I was saving.”

Comprehension seemed to dawn on him, and he nodded. “I think I understand,” he said slowly, and you raised your arm to gesture at the horizon.

“Like this. The sun setting. I never get to watch it properly. Never get to appreciate it.” You dropped your arm, wrapping it back around yourself as you watched the sun slowly sink downwards. “There’s a whole world out there I haven’t experienced, and I wanted to try and see at least a few of the wonders of the world before I go.”

“Go where?” Cas asked, puzzled by the comment, and you directed a look at him, which made him understand within a second. “Oh. Before you die.” His statement made your mouth set into a thin line. You hated contemplating your own mortality, but you did it far too often. Hanging around with the Winchesters brought a high probability of death, although it also seemed to bring a fairly good chance of resurrection too. “You know I would do anything to prevent that,” the angel muttered softly, and you turned your eyes to him, your gaze softening with a small smile tugging at your lips.

“I know,” you whispered, reaching out to snag his sleeve with your fingers. “And I will go back. But right now…” A thought dawned on you, and you ducked your head to try and catch Castiel’s eyes. “How much of the world have you seen, Castiel?”

His answer was instantaneous and very much him. “I’ve seen 96.472938% of the world.”

You laughed at him, and he cocked his head to the side in response. “I mean, how much of the world have you seen properly? Stopped to enjoy?”

Cas paused, thinking the question over. “Only the parts where I’m with you,” he replied, his tone even and factual, but it didn’t stop you swooning a little. “The beauty in the world, that my father created, it doesn’t compare to the beauty I see when I look at you.”

Slapping his shoulder lightly, you couldn’t help but move a little closer to him, lifting your chin to look up into his eyes. “Can we pretend you’re not the sweetest for a second?” His lips quirked up into a little smile as you pressed closer. “Because I want you to look out there, at that sunset, and tell me it’s not magnificent to behold.”

It seemed like he had trouble tearing his eyes away from yours, but he managed it, gazing out to the ocean. For long moments, you watched him take it in, the colors reflecting on his face as he drank the details of the sunset . When he exhaled gently, you realized he understood what you meant. “I understand,” he whispered, looking back to you. “It is beautiful.”

“That’s what I needed to see,” you said, looking back out to the horizon as the sky turned a darker red. “I needed to see some of the world I’m fighting for, before I forget and…”

“And stop fighting for it,” Castiel finished, his fingers grasping your chin, making you look back to him. “I think I would like to see some of the world with you, Y/N. If you would permit me to join you…”

Your fingers slipped down his sleeve to intertwine with his, and you nodded, smiling at him. “I would very much like that.”

*****

Castiel was like a child in many ways, and he’d clearly never stopped to smell the roses during his time on Earth. In some ways, it made your little trip all the more exciting, seeing him explore the things he’d never had a chance to.

You’d never forget the memories, that was for sure.

The otter sanctuary was a spontaneous stop, but seeing Cas with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he played with baby otters, getting himself soaked - it was probably one of the most joyous things you’d ever experienced.

“This otter doesn’t like the bland fish you’ve been feeding them,” he insisted, handing off a wriggling pup to the confused volunteer, who took it with a frown. “He suggests unsalted oysters, as they are easier to digest.” The volunteer nodded at him, mouth agape as the otter pup climbed her sleeve and escaped back into the holding pen with its brethren.

Cas didn’t seem to want to leave the animals, and it took all your persuasion to get him out of there. You were laughing by the time you returned to the car, and you only laughed harder when your stomach gurgled loudly. “Wow, guess I’m hungry.”

“I would assume so. Shall we get you some food?”

An idea struck you, and you pulled your phone out, googling away quickly. “How about a date?” The angel blinked at you. “Like, we get dressed up nice and go for a meal.”

“I don’t eat.”

“I know that, but you can pretend, right?” You smiled down at your phone, booking a table at a nearby steak house. “Come on, Cas, you said you wanted to come with me…” Sam’s puppy dog eye tutelage had obviously paid off as you fixed your eyes on the hesitant angel, and his reluctant nod quickly followed.

“Do I have to change?” he asked, looking down at his repetitive attire. “I don’t own anything else.”

For a second, you contemplated him, before a bright smile lit up your face. “I have an idea.”

An hour later, you pulled your truck into the parking lot of the steakhouse, climbing out to find Cas already waiting for you, holding out a small bunch of flowers he’d clearly picked from the roadside. The thought was endearing, and you accepted them with a smile, giving him a peck on the cheek. He’d taken your earlier suggestions, wearing nothing but his slacks and the white shirt, unbuttoned at the top, which was more human-like in the Californian heat.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, standing back another step to look down at the black dress you’d dug out from your duffle. It was an emergency LBD, the one you kept for when a case needed a more feminine touch. Luckily, it remained mostly stain-slash-blood free, and didn’t have any holes.

“Thank you,” you replied, allowing him to take your arm and lead you into the restaurant.

It was awkward to start, and all too clear that Castiel had never eaten anywhere except the dingy little diners that the Winchesters favored. But he quickly got into the swing of things, and you ordered for both of you, two eight ounce steaks with a good selection of red wine. Before long, Castiel was leading the conversation, asking what other places you would like to see, and you, in turn, asked him about places he remembered from millennia ago.

When dinner was done, Castiel picked up the dessert menu, smiling at you. “Would you like something sweet?”

You shook your head, the wine getting to you, making you grin. “I think I’d like to get out of here. I’ve got a room booked just up the road.”

“You’re too inebriated to drive,” he pointed out, and you shrugged. “Maybe we should walk. It is a very mild evening.”

The suggestion was better than yours, which would have been to drive anyway, cos god knows, you’d driven tipsy before. But the thought of enjoying a stroll with the angel was too good an idea to pass up, and you paid the tab quickly with a fake card, sweetly thanking the staff before leaving with Cas’ arm through yours again.

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and for a little while, neither of you spoke. Castiel dropped his arm to take your hand, his warm fingers sliding through yours as he threw you a shy little smile that was entirely out of place on the face of an ageless celestial being, but completely natural to his boyish features.

“It’s nice to just… be,” he said, looking up at the sky. “To stop and smell the roses, I think the expression is.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, swinging your arm a little where his hand was clasped in yours. “It is nice. I really needed this.”

“You seem more relaxed than you were.”

“Everyone burns out sometimes,” you shrugged, not looking at him, keeping your eyes on the floor as you sent a rock skidding with the tip of your ballet pumps. “Just took me a little longer than I thought.”

The motel’s luminescent sign loomed up ahead, and you chewed your lip as you walked side by side with the angel, lapsing back into silence. You wanted to ask him to stay, to acknowledge the burgeoning feelings you had for him - you’d always been particularly close with Castiel, and you sometimes imagined being with him, sharing a life with him.

But the elephant in the room was his angel status, and he’d often hinted that it wasn’t a good idea to pursue anything more than a friendship.

“You’re thinking a lot,” Cas pointed out, dragging you back to the present. You offered up a lopsided smile, and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I want… I would like you to stay with me. Tonight.”

“Okay,” he acquiesced, and you blinked. “I’m perfectly happy to stay with you, I have done so far.”

You shook your head with an amused laugh, and his frown returned. “No, Cas, I want to you to spend the night with me. Together… as in…” His eyes widened as he got the point, and his pace slowed. Regret hit you like a two ton semi, and you stopped walking altogether, removing your hand from his hold. “Sorry. Forget I mentioned anything, I just…”

He was suddenly  there, seeming so much larger than he had before, so much more surrounding, intoxicating, and his lips were hovering over yours. “Y/N,” he breathed, cupping your face with both hands. “It would not be wise…” _Here comes the rejection._  “But I find myself no longer caring about what is wise, and more about what makes me happy.” He smiled, and you felt like you were going to cry in relief. “And you make me very happy.”

“Cas…” you whispered, and he pulled you close, claiming your lips with his. You barely heard the rustling of wings around you, but your stomach dropped at the sudden movement, something you’d yet to get used to. He’d flown you both directly into your motel room, and the sudden coolness of the air conditioned room made you shudder. “That’s cheating,” you giggled, pulling back from him, trying to regain your equilibrium.

“I was impatient,” Cas replied, shrugging carelessly. “You are so beautiful.” His fingers ghosted over your cheek, and you felt the blush rising there. “May I undress you?” You managed a weak nod, and he smiled, leaning in to kiss you again. His hands trailed down over your shoulders, gripping the thin straps of the dress before pulling it off so it could pool around your feet.

You shivered, goosebumps rising on your skin as his hands moved around your back, unclipping the bra with such efficiency, you suspected he’d gotten tips from Dean on that one. But you didn’t say anything, simply watching his face with your bottom lip wedged between your teeth as his eyes dipped lower to your exposed breasts.

His breath was hot against your mouth when he leaned in to kiss you again. “So beautiful…”

“Stop,” you murmured, turning your head away, only for Cas to stop you, his lips demanding and hard against yours.

“I will never stop telling you how wonderful you are,” he insisted, smiling widely, brushing his thumb over your reddened cheek. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.” He stepped back, opening his arms wide. “Maybe I should make things fair.”

And his clothes were gone.

Goddamn angel grace.

Your breath felt like it had been punched out of your lungs as you stared at him, memorizing the lines of his body, the curve of his hips and the “v” of his torso slanting into his groin. He was built, that was for certain, and you felt ridiculously virginal staring at the raging erection bobbing between his legs. “Is that better?” he asked, and you couldn’t help it - you burst out in a fit of giggles.

“I’m sorry,” you gasped, clamping a hand over your mouth. “It’s not better. I mean… it’s way better than my dreams have made up, but…”

He smiled, moving closer. “You have imagined me?”

You nodded, removing your hand as he pressed up against you. “Many, many times.”

“I have imagined you too,” Cas replied, pulling your body flush with his. “I’ve thought about you so much, having you like this… touching you…” His name escaped your throat on a whisper, and you cried out when he dipped his head down to suckle at one hard nipple. You couldn’t help your head tipping back, the little sounds on your lips as he explored your skin with his tongue and teeth.

You gasped when he pulled away, the blue of his eyes almost overwhelmed by the pupil as he watched your skin tone deepen with arousal. “Cas,” you croaked, voice thick with need. “Please, I need you…”

He grinned, threading one hand through your hair to cup the back of your head, the other hand grabbing your ass. With moves you suspected weren’t his, he turned you, guiding you towards the bed in between peppered kisses. “Lay down for me, Y/N,” he commanded, his tone gentle. You obeyed, feeling a little bashful as he stood over you, his hand on his cock as he took in every inch of your body.

“Like what you see?” you asked, a little streak of confidence at the look on his face making you bold. He nodded slowly, lowering himself over you. “I’ve still got my panties on,” you pointed out, and Cas glanced down, before smirking back up at you.

Okay, angel grace wasn’t so bad. It certainly saved a lot of the less-than-sexy squirming involved in removing underwear.

Cas bent down, his intentions clear, but you were impatient, and you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. “No. We can play later.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I’ve been told that this is a good idea before intercourse -”

“I’m sure,” you replied, cutting off his endearing but slightly off-putting technical speech. “Later. Right now, I wanna feel you inside me.” It was his turn for color to rise in his face, and you smiled, drawing him closer, spreading your thighs for him to settle between. “Cas…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

The words stuttered and failed on your tongue, the wish to tell him the growing feelings in your heart for him dying as he stared at you with adoration you’d never had aimed at you before. Moving your hand, you threaded your fingers through his hair, smiling up at him. “Kiss me.”

He obliged instantly, almost melting against you. His hips shifted, and you slid your other hand between your bodies, aligning him with your entrance, and Cas took the hint, pushing home to the sound of your combined moans.

Breaking away from the kiss, you sucked in a breath, looking up at him with parted lips, and the beginnings of sweat beading on your forehead. Despite his heavier than normal breathing, Cas seemed completely collected. The only hint of his pleasure was the intensity of his eyes fixed on you.

You lifted your legs, resting your heels above the swell of his asscheeks, and he groaned, his perfect composure cracking a little. With a sly smile, you flexed your inner muscles around him, the second groan leaving him as your reward.

“Fuck me, Cas,” you begged in a whisper, and he nodded slowly, his hips rotating in a circular motion against you. His cock withdrew an inch, before he sank back in.

“You’re so warm,” he murmured, kissing along your jaw. You whimpered gratuitously, raising your ass to meet his thrusts, which spurred him on. He picked up speed until the smack of skin on skin was audible amongst the twin panting, and the slight squeak of the ancient motel bed.

Cas shifted, using one hand to raise your right leg higher, and you winced as a spring in the lumpy mattress made itself known. He seemed to pick up on your discomfort, rolling you slightly over, before resuming his strokes, going deeper, withdrawing more with each one, building his rhythm. You were crying out now, as he tested the angle of his movements, searching for that one singular spot that would raise your voice to a higher pitch with your screams, and make your heart quicken as you sought your finish.

“Cas!”

He made a sexy little snarl of a sound, and your orgasm washed over you as his cockhead slammed into the thin ridge of nerves on your inner walls. Your pussy fluttered around him, making him fuck you harder, but your orgasm only made you want more.

Using your thighs, you squeezed them around him, placing one hand on his shoulder to roll you both into a one-eighty, until you were perched on top of him. Castiel seemed surprised by the action, but he quickly regained his momentum, lifting his knees and digging his heels into the mattress. You clung to his hands, feeling his forearm shake with the tension of holding you upright while you bounced on his cock.

It was deeper than you’d ever felt, having him surge up into you with such force, slamming into you with perfect precision on each stroke. Your body trembled, and you felt Cas’ cock swell inside you.

“I cannot hold on,” he moaned, the veins on his neck standing out as he arched and grimaced in pleasure. A scream escaped your lips without permission as you lost your composure, spasming around him, the warmth of his cum only serving to prolong your climax.

Everything seemed a little fuzzy as your movements ceased, and you slumped forward, caught by the angel’s arms. With a gentleness you only ever marvelled at, Cas lifted you off of his hips, pulling you into his arms and cradling you into his side. His calloused fingers stroked through your hair, and you turned your head to look up at him, feeling the slick of your skin against his shoulder.

“I think I have decided,” he started, moving his hand to cup your cheek as you watched him, your heart still pounding from the expenditure of energy. “That this is the most beautiful sight in the world.”


End file.
